Wednesday, October 1, 2014

October isn't just about awareness

every year I repost this short that i wrote... somewhere... hoping that where ever it randomly falls, someone finds it and finds meaning..... this years i'm blasting it from ever blog i can....

It was nearly Christmas. You could smell the holiday in the air. Frost

and snow covered everything outside and inside the house was filled with

tantalizing aromas of ham slow roasting with a honey glaze. The fire was

bright and cackling and all the traditional decorations for Christmas were

artfully placed by three well meaning, if over excited bundles of joy. One

would expect to hear the children clamering down the hallway, glasses or

mugs clicking in toast, laugter and conversation. Yes, thats what one would

expect, but the opposite was true. The room was warm but silent, save for the

occasional ruffle of clothing or sniffle as someone held back tears.

Tomas sat with their youngest son Graham on his lap. He stared in wonder at

the curly brown head. How could they have just celebrated his arrival here

and then today be mourning the loss of his Godmother. As the last of the

guest walked out the front door, He raised his head to look at his wife of 10

years. Eloise was beautiful to him, even in her mourning, she radiated love

and warmth. Tomas knew she was missing her close friend, but she'd opened her

arms and their home to Angeline's family and other friends. She made herself

their center, their port of call during this harsh time, when one should have

been emersed in festivaties. Angeline and Elois had lived life like twins.

Adventures, love all of it had been intertwined. It had been devasting to

both women when Angie had learned too late she'd had breast cancer. Elois had

raged. How could someone so smart, so intellegent not have regular check ups.

But Angie had lived life for the next rush. Moving from one epic adventure to

the other, with out ever having so much as a common cold. When she'd began

to fill sick and not have any strength, she and Eloise argued nightly about

her need to go to the doctor. She'd been over to visit with the kids when she

passed out in the kitchen. Little Graham had run to his brothers, insisting

the twins help he with his angel. THe older boys thought he'd ment the angel

for the christmas tree. At six the twins thought they were grown and had

decided they could replace the ornament theirselves. When they went to the

kitchen to get a chair on which to stand, they found the fallen angel that

had graham in tears. They'd dialed 911 and then called Tomas home explaining

that Auntie Angel was sleeping on the floor in the kitchen and their cookies

were burning in the oven. Here they were on the eve of Christmas eve. Missing

one of the Key elements of the season. Of their lives. The cancer that had

resided in Angeline's breast had been slowly spreading through out her body.

Her sudden decline in health was the result of it taking over the last of

her organs. The doctors had been powerless to save her. Any treatment would

only add to her agonizing pain. The doctors had taken a moment to speak with

each female present at the hospital, ensuring them that if they but only test

regularly most their lives could be saved. Had Angeline gone to any of the

hundreds of appointments she'd scheduled then cancelled her life may have

been spared. But what ifs adn should haves were pointless.

 Rising slowly he walked with Graham toward's Eloise and wrapped her into his

arms with their son. Standing for a moment he inhaled, just relishing this

time, burning it into his memory and willing Elois to do so as well.

"Hey Alice, lets put this little mouse to bed and have a rest, twiddle dee

and dum will be home tomorrow and it will be full steam ahead"

He guided his love down the hall, stopping briefly to put Graham to bed.

Removing his miniture suit he smiled as the child curled into his side.

Graham cuddled the teddy bear that Angeline had just given him for his

birthday and snuffled out a little sigh. Elois pulled the blankets up over

the baby and ran her finger through his curls. Love and sadness poured from

her eyes.

Arm and arm Tomas and Eloise made their way down the hall to their room. Once

inside Tomas sat Elois on the edge of the bed and slowly removed her clothes.

As he removed each shoe he massaged her stocking covered feet, before easing

the dark nylons offer her legs and wadding them up. He had Elois stand before

him and he lifted the simple black sheath dress over head and tossed it too

onto the floor. He made short work of her black bra then wrapped her his

flannel pajama top. Pushing slightly he guided her back on to the bed, then

gathered her discarded clothes and tossed them into the hamper. Tomas changed

into his own pajamas and tee shirt before starting the fire in their hearth

and climbing into bed..

As soon as he settled back against the head board Eloise climbed into his lap

and wiggled her way between his legs with her back to his front. Once she

was settled she leaned her dark head back against his shoulder and nuzzled

her nose into the side of his neck. They sat that way gazing into the flames.

Each reflecting on thier life and their blessings.

 After a time Eloise began to open the button on the pajama top. She kept

her gaze forward so she didnt' see the questioning look one Tomas's face.

When she had every button undone, she placed her hands on Tomas's and slowly

brought them up her torso to rest inside the shirt on her breast. Once his

hands where in place, she raised her arms futher over her head and then

linked her fingers behind Tomas's neck. At this angle her breast were thrust

out futher into Tomas's hands. Understanding came slowly, but it came and

Tomas began to slowly move his fingers over her velvety coal skin. He touched

her with reverance and love, but he touched her slowly and firmly, relearning

the curves of her breast. The breast that had not only nursed and comforted

his sons, but himself. He commited the weight and shape to his mind, to the

very molecular make up of his fingers and palms. He spent what cold have been

hours with his eyes closed and his fingers molding and shaping the heavy

flesh. Finaly when, he felt Eloise release her linked hands and bring her

arms down. He stopped his ministrations and wrapped her in his arms. Turning

slowly, Tomas rolled them to one side and tucked her in close to his body.

FInally they slept

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