So much rambling, so little time

I honestly haven't rambled in the last few days, not because I didn't have anything to ramble about but because I couldn't decide what to talk about first.
Obviously, everyone expects me to talk about this past weekend with the BTPM&G.
Sigh, I can't even begin to describe it. The only thing missing was Vegas. I'm mean really, there was mayhem and drama and laughter and us trying to pretend we ain't did it( which we aint do it). It was everything.
There were so many HELL YEAH moments. And all of that was before we meet a single fan LMAO ( actually some of them were before we meet a single person, CWB and I had some great conversations with the people in the airports and on the planes).
 The greatest moments where being in my sisters arms. Like I could totally stare at them for years and never be able to drink my fill of their beauty.
There were tears, and belly laughs and obviously food. LOL  I might just tell stories about it as they pop into my mind.

Then there was some drama for me over the weekend ( had nothing to do with the meet and greet, just the luck of Drea reigning down around us), but being with my sisters, the family of my heart gave me a strength I didn't think I'd find.  Coming home to hell and Armageddon hasn't rippled the lakes of my serenity the way it would have if i'd not been surrounded by such fierce love and support.

So now begins the process of whats next (yes dear reader I left out a lot, but in my heart I am not ready to really talk about it all). I call it Leap Year Syndrom. Every four years or so I have the urge to clarify and change my life. Mysterious forces ( God if you will) start shuffling things around and re-arranging my life and my heart. And on this leap year day ( is that even ...never mind yeah it is or if it ain't it is now) I am ...hopeful and excited. There are lots of changes on my horizons. Somethings I saw coming but was just like yeah no. Maybe because I felt like they were to great to be meant for me. ( funny  i've been hearing this quote in my head for months now on repeat

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”






 Marianne






 Williamson)


There are a lot of whats nexts...the process of planing a relocation with in the next year ( east coast here we come), more writing, more ttcing and lots more living. Opening myself and our lives( cuz where I go CWB and the pups must go) to new adventures, broadening our horizons,  seeing whats out there and carving out our own little spot in the world.

To quote a stupid cartoon that I don't watch but the commercials drive me nuts...
ITS ADVENTURE TIME

and i am game, full speed ahead.

40 days and 40 nights

Today is The first day of Lent.  I've decided to give up a few things but I am not going to advertise them. First, I think of the things I try to give up during Lent like new years resolutions, you say your gonna do it just cuz you feel like you gotta say your gonna do it but you know deep down your gonna get a week in and say PFFFFFFT. Second, this year I am working on not telling "man" what I want to accomplish, but telling God, and having a conversation with Him about where my life is going and what I can do different and better. My walk is my own, my cross is my own and I am in charge of it. Third,This year I am picking some intensely personal things to give up. Last night as I lay in bed, I thought of a couple of conversations I had with Janet and Reana. It brought to mind all the intense pressure I've been under and I thought this year for Lent, this Lapsed Catholic is gonna probably still be lapsed (for a person who has issues with organized religion i sure retain a lot of residue of them lol) is gonna do two things...stop feeling bad for forgetting not to eat meat on Fridays and give up some of the things that are putting needless insurmountable amounts of pressure on her being.
These things may include but aren't limited to people,  jobs, habits, and drama.
If I get to good friday this year and even one of those things is gone and the tension in my life is eased, I will have a lot to thank God and myself for.
God for being my strength and my comfort  and for bringing amazing people into my life as a physical reminder of His presence.
And me for taking charge of my life and answering the call.

Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;

 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

Matthew 6:16-18

King James Version (KJV)

insomnia, the muse , ttc-ing and the need to ramble

So its two in the morning in sleepy lil' Texas. The only sounds in my house are the sound of the living room clock ticking ( which for some reason is extremely loud at two a.m.), the three men of the house snoring from their sentinel guard posts ( cwb in bed, titan in his kennel and dee oh gee curled up in the corner of the love seat) and the click of my fresh new full set of  bright solar nails( i got into the st pats spirit early this year to help me with the umpteen stories DJ had demanded and got tips that have shamrocks on them as well as a bright green pedicure but more on the magic of st pats later).

I lay in the bed listening the quirky sounds of my house for a full half hour before I gave up the ghost  and gave into the inevitable energy spurt that hits me after bd'ing ( look it up i gave you a key). The voices in my head were driving me nuts with their adhd.  They couldn't decided what they wanted to do, pray for the bd'ing to be "successful",  praise God for the gift we are about to receive and the abundance we already enjoy,  fret over the ever mounting stack of bills, run through the list of a million things to do before both the trek to the inlaws and the impending misadventure of North Carolina ( probably to some how be known in the future as the time Drea destroyed the antebellum state) or  sit back and listen to the four characters willing me to get up and pen their adventure( which has to do with all the damn green and oddly my mother in laws concession wagon).  The characters lost out even though I did get scolded for all the giggling  I was doing ..." get up and go get it out of your system so we can all get some sleep". ( Grumpy ass cowboy, like it wasn't his fault I'm up  at two..no now two thirty a.m. to begin with).

No, the muse was satisfied when I agreed to make notes ( hey i just got this damn manicure and even though the lady was cock-eyed and  every nail on my left hand is slightly canted to the right, its pretty cute. I can't be writing out a two flashes and ruining it before I show my mother in law tomorrow.)  The need to just ramble, let the words fly from my fingers at will, releasing the pressure that's been building behind my left eye for about a week won out.

So, I am sitting here, fingers finally kissing the keys, wonder what I'll do after the need is assuaged.  I'm kinda hunger but not really. I could do the dishes, but I forgot to buy gloves to protect my nails. My yoga ball looks like it misses me. I haven't bounced on it in a few days, but doing that means I have to hoist my ass out of this leather recliner and walk over to the dining room and get said ball. I daren't open my email because DJ will hit me with "where is my next story" and " hey write this (insert link to hunky hotness picture)."
I could hang out with my insomnia support group Aka Dimples on fb, he is always awake when I am, blaming me for projecting my in ablility to not be a real live vampire onto him, thus causing him to be a nocturnal creeper (oh and btw he would probably say, you can be a black vampire as long as you don't fcking shimmer or anything cuz glitter bats are SO not what vampires are). Or I could sit here and re read my words like the nut case I am and marvel at the weird manic way ocd manifests itself in me.
Yup, think that's what I'll do.
Until next time....
D

Happy Valentine's Day

I had a whole bunch of ideas...stuff to say today...and maybe I will later.  CWB made me rice for breakfast...Freaking Love THAT MAN ...SIGH *followed by immediate hacking and coughing*
I am not feeling so well, skin is prickly and tingly , chest is heavy, nasal congestion...yeah bleh...
So i am spending the day in the bed. As soon as I post this for you all to see, I am going back to the warm pillows and blankets and hope i feel better in time to get "woo-ed" tonight.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Y'ALL

whats that ticker over there ===========>

If you've ever known anyone who had to spend more than a month or two on the TTC ship, you know they tend to have more trappings about babies and the making of babies than even the most well versed doctors.

Their are more calculators and calendars, test strips, dip sticks , thermometers, books, websites, vitamins and you name it than I can name. Some of the things are all just in good fun and some of them our serious bidness... Like  my ticker over there...its good fun but its also work.

Some days its the thing that makes me smile and reminds me that some "work" will be going on...gives me that lil' tingle in the middle of the day and gets me to thinking about if I should text CWB and let him know what color my panties are. Some days I hate that thing, because its a torture device, the cute slider that's meant to represent me and the hubs needs to keep on sliding till its off the a damn cliff. Its a reminder that I haven't gotten that much coveted  BFP.

So I thought I'd share it. I am not the only one with one, but I kept mine to myself or a long time.   This way my brothers and sisters in the trenches can stop thinking I am as cool as a cucumber about the whole thing. ( some day I might tell you about the break down I had to day at lunch with my best friend over the phone.  IT WAS UH UH UH UH UGLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAY, but I feel a lot better for the release).

Other things that couples who are on that TTC trip have are calendars...no, honey, not just the cute little ticker  over there.. I mean full blown note books and day planners. I have a note book for the year 2012 and in a multitude of  colored pens, pencils and sharpies I have charted hundreds of scenarios for the "best possible times to conceive".
I am not math fan, but believe you me, I can quickly calculate when i should O if my last CD1 or AFV was any where for 28-33 days prior and my LF is any where from 14-17 days. ( Do no't worry about those abbreviations I'll get you a list.)

So know I want to pause, some of you guys are going, "Drea you and CWB just started trying?"  WRONG MON AMI.  The virtuous Mr and I have actually been on and off this ship for the duration of our relationship. We've suffered many losses and set backs and so yeah, I am sorta just now telling the world about our journey, but a few people know its been a long haul.  When you don't end up with a B.O.J  you kinda don't want anyone to know.  You definitely don't want to share after a loss because you can't bare the heart break other's feel for you. So you wait and wait and its a secret.  NOW I am feeling chatty, mostly because a few really special people asked me to, but that wont last.  There are some things I am just not ready to share.  Having said that, back to the calendars.

I have calendars every where. In the car, in my emails on my desk tops on my phone in my house. I have calendars that compile data from to create the "BEAST", (CWB and the office geeks named it). The best is a work of art. Its so brightly colored and filled with numbers that phd's in the most complicated math feilds would be scratching their heads... I can read it at a glance...as can most of the people in the office and CWB.  I've even created "beasts" for five other couples who are TTC.  I could almost go into business with them.  One couple I am proud to say, thanks the "beast" for the conception of their twins due in early April. ( well the twins and the dr in mexico that hooked them up with stuff that cost a fortune here).

The "beast" is just one of many ways that people TTC would look like absolute looney toons to others. And truely only another person who has been on the journey can understand.

So there Rachel, I've admitted it. *giggles* I hope you're happy now. I am just as in sane as the rest of you geeks, I've got tickers, counters, calendars and test strips.  Thermometers and diagrams,yes a secret subscription or 1000 to some online crazy people websites.  *big cheesy grin* and I will keep them until i get that BFP and or BOJ is here....

I'll probably go back to not talking about in a few days, cuz thats whats more comfortable to me, but you're not alone. AND YOU ARE CRAZY...*shrugs what we are*  but its ok, i like you crazy...


oh and for you guys that are wondering wtf stuff means... here's a list.... well a partial list LOL

2WW: Two-week wait (until you can take a pregnancy test) 
AF: Aunt Flo(w), your period (menses) 
BBT: Basal body temperature 
BD: Baby dance, sex 
BFN: Big fat negative (test result) 
BFP: Big fat positive (test result) 
BMS: Baby-making sex 
CB: Cycle buddy (someone who shares the same menstrual cycle/ovulation dates) 
CD: Cycle day 
CF: Cervical fluid 
CL: Corpus luteum 
CM: Cervical mucus 
CP: Cervical position 
CY: Cycle 
DI: Donor insemination 
DP: Dancing partner; spouse or significant other 
DPO: Days past ovulation 
DTD: Doing the dance, sex 
EW: Eggwhite (re: consistency of cervical mucus) 
FTTA: Fertile thoughts to all 
FMU: First morning urine 
hCG: Human chorionic gonadotropin (pregnancy hormone) 
HPT: Home pregnancy test 
IF: Infertility 
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination 
IVF: In Vitro Fertilization 
LH: Luteinizing hormone 
LMP: Last menstrual period 
LP: Luteal phase 
O: Ovulation 
OPK: Ovulation predictor kit 
PCOS (POS): Polycystic ovarian syndrome 
PG: Pregnancy, pregnant 
S/A: Sperm/semen analysis 
TCOYF: Taking Charge of Your Fertility (book) 
TTC: Trying to conceive

PRO CHOICE AND NOT CHANGING IT.

In having revealed a bit about my journey in TTC, I've been privy to some amazing conversations.  Sometimes my point of view makes it hard for people to fathom the thought that I am TTC.

With all that's going on you can hardly breath the words "conception" with out someone asking you how you feel about Planned Parenthood, abortions, etc etc etc.

Last night I stumbled on a FaceBook post of a good friend. Someone I admire, love and Trust.  The post was about Sherri Shepherd's emotional moment on the view where she confesses to "having had lots of abortions".

Now the debate can me multifaceted and my friend and I line up on a lot of things, Like Sherri Shepherd isn't really relevant on my radar. I think she's and idiot.  However we disagree on the point miss Shepherd was making. ( some would say her point was invalid because she was simply jumping on a band wagon and trading on an emotional topic to garner more fame).Shepherd admitted to having had a lot of abortions and if she had been forced under( as is the issue under Texas law) to view pictures/sonograms as well as have her dr describe in detail the features of her unborn children, she might not have had the abortions.  Shepherd stated the decisions were hard enough and had she not made them the would have been the kind of person that  "people" sit around talking about , putting children in harms way, not parenting them, etc etc, because she lacked the mental capacity THEN to raise a child. (NB as of this writing, to the best of my knowledge as resident in the state of Texas, there is not law that makes drs. go through this same process for any other procedure. OH sure they talk to you in that general dr speak that takes two seconds and leaves you scratching someone else's head and waiting on the nurse to translate, but there is no law that says they have to "FORCE YOU" to listen to the sounds of whatever it is insides you other than the fetal heart beat.  And in my opinion that is not only unethical but cruel and abusive.)

Now here is were the debate breaks down in my opinion.  Because most people can't see past their own prejudices against Shepherd to her what she is saying.  The first part of her statement said basically..." we stop at the picket lines"  and she went on to explain that... we want to force women to have children, tell them NO you can not have an abortion, all the while we also deny them access to health clinics that would provided them with birth control, condoms, spermicide AND THEN when these women have had this children we complain about the over taxation, over population. We look at people who CLEARLY ill-equipt to be parents and we talk about how they are on welfare and food stamps.   And we judge them, we talk about how they shouldn't have children anyway, we look beyond their circumstances and we condemn them, vilify them and not just them but the children born of them.

We vote  continuously to shut down care for under served under privileged and minorities ( many who are born because the lack of care/ the lack of choice).  We complain that there are too many people in the world.

This was the point Shepherd was making. That MOST pro-life people aren't really pro-life, but pro give me some my way so i can complain about it.

My general issue with Pro Lifers are that the majority of them aren't PRO-LIFE, but simply anti abortion.  There is a huge difference.  Even being Pro Choice I can say I am ANTI ABORTION. I do not condone abortion as a from of birth control.  I believe that ever person knows the biological function of sex is reproduction. The risk of sex is human life, don't want a human life? Don't have sex. The only sure fire way of not reproducing is NOT COPULATING.  I believe that 100%  But I also believe their are instances where abortion is a valid option. If my 7- to adult year old daughter is raped and pregnancy results. I would not force them to have a child.
If a mentally unstable woman were to become pregnant. I wouldn't force them to have a child. If a woman in an abusive relationship  who couldn't protect herself, if a woman  with 7 kids and no job  no support system... if a woman's life was at risk ....THERE are just reasons for ME that abortion becomes and option.

I can even say that as I struggle with infertility. Because as much as I value life. I value the quality of life right along with it.

For me you can not say you are PRO LIFE but then you regularly vote for the death penalty. You negate your pro-life status every time you vote to cut services to poor people. You crush your pro-life status when you drive past  the ghetto/barrio/slums and you suck your teeth and talk shit about the "low life people that live there".  You toss it out with the bath water when you vote  locally to end free food programs in school or to keep under privileged children from being able to come to the "rich" school and get a shot at a better education.
To me if you are PRO LIFE you are Pro EVERY LIFE ALL THE TIME.  So that means you put down your picket sign and you grab a young woman by the hand. YOu bring her home and you take responsibility to for the coarse of her life. You enable her to be a life that can not only bring new life but support NEW LIFE. or You take that new life and YOU become responsible for it.
If you're so pro-life...go down to the orphanages and pick up ten or twenty of those kids who "were given a chance " but not  given a family.  Make sure you sign up to take the ones with special needs, who will never be able to be "productive" in society. Sign up for the ones that will need you to wipe their asses and change their diapers long after the time that you can't even wipe your own ass.  IF YOU ARE PRO LIFE THEN BE PRO LIFE...ALL THE TIME.

People are so focused on the fact that Planned Parent Hood is about abortion, that the forget that its not the only CHOICE you find there.  My mom worked with PP for a long time. And the number of women she was able to counsel, that DID NOT have abortions was far larger than the number of women who did.
They just needed to here that there were options. Adoptions, Being a single parent, allowing the father or other family member to take custody.   But yes abortion was an option, and for those women it wasn't easy. Even the habitual ones. NOT one woman walked in with a smile on their face and acted as if they were just in for a day at the spa.  NOT one woman walked out feeling like they'd just had a refreshing colonic and all was right with the world.  They'd each made the hardest decision they'd ever had to make and they each walked away having left and important part of themselves behind. A little bit of their soul was gone.

I have more respect for people who admit they are simply Anti abortion...they( they being the majority of anti abortionist who still insist they are pro life) don't give a shit what happens to the life once its here, but they believe it deserves the chance to get here. The aren't pro life... because if they were they'd be concerned about the life after the fact. Once its pushed from the womb into this cold cruel world, what happens to that life NEXT is just as important as whether it gets here or not.

Midnight Ramblings

It's after midnight, and my day of refusing to "work" is over. Tomorrow its back to the grind. Creativity, must be shackled and bent into the rules that make it marketable madness instead of just plan old madness.

I was probably going somewhere with this thought, but alas as normal some messenger or something is buzzing and I am distracted.  This distraction is welcome, its my good friend and according to her future mother in law to my first born son ( D, hurry up now my baby don't really want to be a cougar).

I was thinking about introducing the topic of my journey in TTC... for all of you who don't know that's trying to conceive (dude stay with me...because there are a MILLION abbreviations and here you thought just trying to keep up with regular text/im lingo was hard. I can have a whole conversation with other women (and men) in the world of TTC and never use more than one WHOLE word) .
Anyway,   me and she ( my lovely friend as well as a whole lot of other lovely friends) go way back. And we go way back on the subject of babies and how to make em.
She has been  ( like several people) a constant support. She's most definitely been my late night shoulder to cry on and together with her amazing husband make up a huge part of the party of warriors that have been praying for me when I forget to wait on God's timing.


So there it is, my foray into talking about the thing that I whisper about to a bunch of people separately, hint about publicly and am still really really unsure about sharing.  The journey for me has been hard because I share everything. Too much some people say. I share a lot of stuff that is meaningless, I think. I share a lot of things that have great meaning as well. But some things are hard to share. The pain and solitude...you don't want to add burden to people who, sure as the sky in Texas is big and wide, already have pain and suffering. You want to be a bright spot a light. So you hide those things that aren't spic and span. Aren't happy and feel goody.  You lock them away. They burrow even deeper into your spirit, suck at the marrow of your soul, dim the light behind your eyes and slow you smile.

Tonight while I am alone with my thoughts ( no i am not really alone, I am just kinda alone in the kitchen. CWB is asleep in the chair with Dee Oh Gee on his lap. Titan is here at my feet) and a batch of caramel turtles that must be frozen and shipped to Buffalo NY and a glass of whole milk ( side note I drink 1% milk because whole milk makes me congested, but I am fighting a serious vitamin d deficiency despite taking copious pills, eating all the fish I can get  and standing in the blistering Texas sun ALLL SUMMER LONG), Tonisha is here to give me light.

She starts with her customary salutation, then asks me what the hell is taking so long (yes, the first lady of the church cusses like a land-lock sailor with 12 stds) for me to make her baby girl a husband.
LOL. Tonisha dibsed my children as her children in law the day after she met me on the readers boards.
She has prayed with me through this journey from the day she meet me some 4 ish years ago.

Tonight I reveal to her that her children in law actually have names. We've tossed that conversation around ( really heavily in this past year) but never really told anyone we've settled on a name for a boy and a name for a girl.
Tonisha is delighted, the names actually fit really well with her children's names.  I also got the speech about how I am not allowed to have any fuggary with the names.  Nothing to ethnic...and by ethnic I mean  white or black. So that rules out my idea to name them after vehicles, LOL.

There will be no Chevy, Ford, Dodge, NOR Mercedes, Porche, Camry  or any other automotive sounding name. Also forbidden are La Qua  Ja'  or Bubba, Boudro, Cletus and such.
Then she reminded me of how I have actually been banned from naming even the pets in my house. ( Dee Oh Gee is not a bad name, its not my fault people can't take a joke...and Titan Claymore is a truth in advertising type of name. he is what he is... and the missing Humphree Cat fell into the truth in advertising as well, you figure that one out).
We talk about how her sweet Princess is sick and how she can't wait to watch me endure the trials of raising a kid. And we ponder WTF I know about raising a girl, good thing she finally has one so she can give me pointers (most of my god kids are boys in fact with the exception of sidthekid and the baby girl coming in Rochester, NY and my one sister friend from highs-school, all like nine million of them are boys). We've decided that due to Princess's puking we no longer like ensure or slim fast or any drink half way like that. Cuz apparently even after copious washing with bleach, soap and lysol, the smell of regurgitated ensure/pedi-a-sure LINGERS.

And just like that my heart is light.  My smile is back and I am once again encouraged. My mustard seed wasn't washed away in the storm, its planted in fertile soil and nurtured by a neighbor in times when  I can not find it in me to see to the garden myself.

I check the caramels and decide they'll have to be frozen all day then dipped and over night-ed on Thursday.  They will be a welcome Vday gift for Buffalo NY.  I glance at my husbands class ring on my right finger,  the Maltese cross there  under his name warms my heart and I've decided that I am done rambling here for the night.

Bleeping Beeping Clicking and Clanging

So I've said this would be random and I mean to continue as I've started.
Instead of working on the drafting edits that DJ ( that's my sister Jayha Leigh) sent me for my latest w.i.p AND instead of working at my day job, I am sitting in my office staring at the not quite Eeyore grey day, wondering if the snow will make it this far south. It's winter in North West Texas and being as I live just off the Caprock Escarpment, I am curious as to what a good amount of snow would look like and how its going to muck up my days. Now basically, I've always lived in this general  vicinity, but since having moved into my new home I am literally a few steps( Texas exaggeration meaning a short car ride, which is actually really rare in Texas) away from the beauty.

 Anyway, this post isn't at all about that.  I had a really productive morning. A conference call with my co-workers at the day job, some awesome brain storming between myself and the office liaison, and the quick dispatching of my boss have left me caught up on work and dutifully awaiting any potential phone calls. I am in full blown receptionist mode right now (one of the many hats I wear). I've got my  laptop and finger nail file, a pack of marlboro's ( nope I don't hear you la la la la la) and  yes...I've  just returned to this post after a twenty minutes skype break ( cuz my day is random like that.) I was interrupted from my post about how noises destract me and lull me into the zone-dom by a surprise conference 3J( my sister Jeanie Johnson)  DJ and Booby Billy (Billy F. London).  I was epic...BOOBS WERE EVERYWHERE

HOWEVER this post isn't about that either. As I was saying...oh f*ck it I  think I was gonna talk about how I was listening to the clock tick and the ceiling fan clang and this beeping thing some where in the office building that I thought was a bomb so for fifteen minutes I was under my desk, texting the building manager...but thats all shot to hell.  I just realized that I have my car at work and I could have driven myself home for lunch, but I sat here playing with this blog and not doing sh*t productive.

I have three hours and fifteen minutes left in my work day. I think I'll play some chuzzles as its the most awesome game ever and figure out how to fix BB's (thats booby billy) mic.

RAAAANNNNNNDDDDOOOOOMMMMMMMM

HHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEEEEEEEE'S Dréa!

 Even though I am actively ( or should be) involved in several other blogs, blogtalks (yup, they let me on the radio LIVE) and other social forums, this one is pure Dréa (live, loud and uncensored).  They say the hardest part in any Journey is the first step (Looks back to see if anyone notices that I tripped over thin air just then).  I guess I have to agree with them( whoever THEY are anyways), to some extent. But sometimes the hardest part is the middle and even the end.  I’m glad you guys are on the road with me though.  We’ll have a helluva ride!

I've been kicking around the idea of a solo blog for a long time. A lot of you are probably scratching your head and wondering why. No, actually we weren't Dréa, but since you said we were: Why are you starting a solo blog? You don't even keep up with any of the other projects you have.

Weeellll, since you asked! Its a free country and free internets( for the time being) and I can *shrug*.

Truth is: I'm a extrovert trapped in and introvert's body.  No, really!  This isn't new. I've said it before. And also the other "projects" all had a specific.... lots my train of thought as the sexiest dodge truck I've seen today just drove by my office, what was I saying.  OH YEAH!  O.K.  Ummmm no still lost it....oh, the other projects all had a specific function. 

The Dréa/Laura blog was always meant to be a showcase for what ever  the two of us created. It's kinda dead right now and I don't know when it will be back. It felt wrong to use that as platform for just my "me-ness". Its the Dréa/Laura blog after all... a duo...duality.

The youtubechannel fed two hungers: my sudden obsession with seeing myself and the need to be seen and the need to do book reviews. Wait, ok THREE hungers. That didn't last long, I don't like dressing up. It might come back, you know like I'll do cameos or something.  It was fun for the Twin and I to goof around. We're still kicking around some idea's about how to make that work.

The radio show actually combines a bunch all of the other stuff in one place and feeds my need to talk. I like to be heard. I like to talk, but I don't like to dress up all the time. Problem solved.  I enjoy the blogtalk more than the others because I get to gab with other people about anything and everything. Though the first few shows have been strictly some book reviews of my fellow authors and the Twin and I cutting up, we're in development still.  Its good fun.

All the other blogs are just things that I contribute to. Occupational hazard if you will. 

This blog however, is all me. My place to ramble away freely about whatever it is I am feeling, doing, thinking.  A public journal, so to speak. 

So what can you expect to see here?  EVERYTHING, or as near to it as you probably never thought you'd want to get.  

I was asked to talk about my journey in TTC ( you learn what that is later if you don't already know) by several people. Not really sure how much of that I am ready to put out in the open, but as writing is my release, I am sure it will come up.  

And of course you'll hear about the writing, the baking, the pets and mighty mini-es.

As I said. Its all ME here. Random, Rowdy and Riley.

That's All.