whats that ticker over there ===========>

If you've ever known anyone who had to spend more than a month or two on the TTC ship, you know they tend to have more trappings about babies and the making of babies than even the most well versed doctors.

Their are more calculators and calendars, test strips, dip sticks , thermometers, books, websites, vitamins and you name it than I can name. Some of the things are all just in good fun and some of them our serious bidness... Like  my ticker over there...its good fun but its also work.

Some days its the thing that makes me smile and reminds me that some "work" will be going on...gives me that lil' tingle in the middle of the day and gets me to thinking about if I should text CWB and let him know what color my panties are. Some days I hate that thing, because its a torture device, the cute slider that's meant to represent me and the hubs needs to keep on sliding till its off the a damn cliff. Its a reminder that I haven't gotten that much coveted  BFP.

So I thought I'd share it. I am not the only one with one, but I kept mine to myself or a long time.   This way my brothers and sisters in the trenches can stop thinking I am as cool as a cucumber about the whole thing. ( some day I might tell you about the break down I had to day at lunch with my best friend over the phone.  IT WAS UH UH UH UH UGLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAY, but I feel a lot better for the release).

Other things that couples who are on that TTC trip have are calendars...no, honey, not just the cute little ticker  over there.. I mean full blown note books and day planners. I have a note book for the year 2012 and in a multitude of  colored pens, pencils and sharpies I have charted hundreds of scenarios for the "best possible times to conceive".
I am not math fan, but believe you me, I can quickly calculate when i should O if my last CD1 or AFV was any where for 28-33 days prior and my LF is any where from 14-17 days. ( Do no't worry about those abbreviations I'll get you a list.)

So know I want to pause, some of you guys are going, "Drea you and CWB just started trying?"  WRONG MON AMI.  The virtuous Mr and I have actually been on and off this ship for the duration of our relationship. We've suffered many losses and set backs and so yeah, I am sorta just now telling the world about our journey, but a few people know its been a long haul.  When you don't end up with a B.O.J  you kinda don't want anyone to know.  You definitely don't want to share after a loss because you can't bare the heart break other's feel for you. So you wait and wait and its a secret.  NOW I am feeling chatty, mostly because a few really special people asked me to, but that wont last.  There are some things I am just not ready to share.  Having said that, back to the calendars.

I have calendars every where. In the car, in my emails on my desk tops on my phone in my house. I have calendars that compile data from to create the "BEAST", (CWB and the office geeks named it). The best is a work of art. Its so brightly colored and filled with numbers that phd's in the most complicated math feilds would be scratching their heads... I can read it at a glance...as can most of the people in the office and CWB.  I've even created "beasts" for five other couples who are TTC.  I could almost go into business with them.  One couple I am proud to say, thanks the "beast" for the conception of their twins due in early April. ( well the twins and the dr in mexico that hooked them up with stuff that cost a fortune here).

The "beast" is just one of many ways that people TTC would look like absolute looney toons to others. And truely only another person who has been on the journey can understand.

So there Rachel, I've admitted it. *giggles* I hope you're happy now. I am just as in sane as the rest of you geeks, I've got tickers, counters, calendars and test strips.  Thermometers and diagrams,yes a secret subscription or 1000 to some online crazy people websites.  *big cheesy grin* and I will keep them until i get that BFP and or BOJ is here....

I'll probably go back to not talking about in a few days, cuz thats whats more comfortable to me, but you're not alone. AND YOU ARE CRAZY...*shrugs what we are*  but its ok, i like you crazy...


oh and for you guys that are wondering wtf stuff means... here's a list.... well a partial list LOL

2WW: Two-week wait (until you can take a pregnancy test) 
AF: Aunt Flo(w), your period (menses) 
BBT: Basal body temperature 
BD: Baby dance, sex 
BFN: Big fat negative (test result) 
BFP: Big fat positive (test result) 
BMS: Baby-making sex 
CB: Cycle buddy (someone who shares the same menstrual cycle/ovulation dates) 
CD: Cycle day 
CF: Cervical fluid 
CL: Corpus luteum 
CM: Cervical mucus 
CP: Cervical position 
CY: Cycle 
DI: Donor insemination 
DP: Dancing partner; spouse or significant other 
DPO: Days past ovulation 
DTD: Doing the dance, sex 
EW: Eggwhite (re: consistency of cervical mucus) 
FTTA: Fertile thoughts to all 
FMU: First morning urine 
hCG: Human chorionic gonadotropin (pregnancy hormone) 
HPT: Home pregnancy test 
IF: Infertility 
IUI: Intrauterine Insemination 
IVF: In Vitro Fertilization 
LH: Luteinizing hormone 
LMP: Last menstrual period 
LP: Luteal phase 
O: Ovulation 
OPK: Ovulation predictor kit 
PCOS (POS): Polycystic ovarian syndrome 
PG: Pregnancy, pregnant 
S/A: Sperm/semen analysis 
TCOYF: Taking Charge of Your Fertility (book) 
TTC: Trying to conceive